Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Help vs. Attention
This week, I have noticed students crying when they become frustrated. My MT and I believe that this is purely for attention, especially with a few of the students. The crying seems to happen when the students are to do something independently. One student will start to cry, and then others join in. At first, my MT and I would ask them what is wrong and then work through the problems with the emotional students, realizing that they fully know what they are doing! One of the students, however, cries when he is frustrated and when simple things go wrong, like breaking a crayon. When we are working on something as a class, this student just spaces out, looks around the room, and fools around with stuff at his desk. When my MT or I tell him to pay attention, he will often just copy off the students next to him. I usually help this student during centers, or when reading independently because he does not know his letter sounds, and letter names at times. I have gotten to a point where he starts to say "I can't, I can't." He gets frustrated, cries, and puts his head down. If he doesn't behave this way, he starts to "forget" what we just went over. For example, I went through the alphabet with him several times and had him say the sounds. I would return to a letter such as "f" and ask for the sound. He would say, "/k/." I believe this is a case of wanting attention and possibly even more praise, since whenever he cries, we usually ask what is wrong and then praise him for what he did correctly. I feel like this is a fine line between needing to work with him individually, and giving him too much attention, to the point where he craves attention and will cry or act like he doesn't know what he is doing. On one hand, I really need to work with him because he is so behind. When I don't work with him during centers, he fools around and doesn't read. I need to learn how to work with him individually, and helping him gain self confidence, so that feels as though he is making progress and will get my (and my MT's) attention that way.
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This is a very interesting case. It seems like you are noticing some of the unique interpersonal patterns of students.
ReplyDeletePart of this might be linked to instruction; indeed, if the instruction is based on procedures and having the "right answer", some students may emotionally shut down or resort to outbursts in response to feeling helpless in the face of having no chance of catching on to what seems like a foreign language. Thus, the more students have the opportunity to converse in the knowledge they already have (how they make sense of the content), the more comfortable (intellectually and emotionally) they will feel in the classroom.
At the same time, you seem to be trying to describe a student who seems to be manipulating his emotions for a different reason - just to get extra attention. Assuming this is true, there is no easy way to deal with the student, since now we are in the realm of psychological and interpersonal motivations. However, one lay-psychologist suggestion might be not reinforce these behavior patterns. Instead, of saying something like "Oh, don't cry!" or trying to effusively encourage the student, you might acknowledge his distress. "Yes, I know. It can be very upsetting to break a crayon", etc. The intention here is not to be sarcastic, but to show the student that you understand his emotions, and that his emotions are okay. Once he expresses them, he may be ready to return to a productive mode of functioning.
And he will learn that minor catastrophes (like breaking a crayon or getting an answer wrong) do not spell disaster. You can model for him that he can feel upset without feeling overwhelmed.
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